Updated: Mar 28, 2019
I hated looking in the mirror...
And if you're someone who struggles with self-acceptance, depression or anxiety then it's possible you've passed your mirror with some disdain from time to time. When you do look, you avoid eye contact-with yourself - which sounds crazy when you think about it. And even then, you begin to pick apart every detail, every flaw, every crooked feature that needs adjustment.
I've quietly held this contempt of mirrors for years. Thinking that, if I were to stop and admire myself for too long, I'd be seen as vain. Passing office buildings with mirrored glass triggered palpitations.
I wondered how many people were working behind that glass, who stuck their heads up momentarily to snicker at me?
I've finally come to a "who cares?" juncture, throwing my hands up realizing that this mentality is one that prohibits joy.
It has been a long journey to not care what others think of me. Or to care if they thought about me at all. Truthfully, the majority of the world does not care.
We slip and fall, have fashion faux pas - my dear, the world continues to revolve on its axis, and you, because of one embarrassing moment, shouldn't wish to fall off its edge.
Again, acceptance of this takes time, and so SO many experiences.
I wanted my mirror to no longer represent deep-rooted disappointment. I wanted to look at it, and not berate myself for mistakes made eons or seconds ago. I wanted it to be a symbol of acceptance and renewal and love.
I got a genius plan on how to make my mirror my friend while chatting with a good friend of mine.
He, like many other 20 something year olds, lamented about not knowing what his life's purpose was. And me, in good old Sylene fashion, proceeded to give advice that I should probably take myself, but otherwise don't!
I said, "Every thing you need to succeed is right in front of you."
At that moment I looked up.
I was standing in front of a full length mirror, and had my "ah-ha" moment.
Sometimes, we do not realize that the gifts and tools we need to make a difference, to break addiction, to become better, to get out of our financial situation, to beat depression resides within us.
I grabbed a marker and told myself that I was no longer going to stand in the way of my happiness and my mental freedom.
I started to write on my mirror, pausing only once to wonder if I'd have difficulty erasing my scribbles, and maybe twice to wonder what my parents would think of my musings should they happen to see what I wrote.
And what was I writing?
I had no idea.... but I started with my faith.
I praise God because He is __________
Next I decided to leave a space for gratitude.
I am grateful for _____________
"But what about you, Sylene?"
I love that I am____________
Next I jotted down my quote for the week and under that the lyrics for my song of the week.
And just recently I've added my Goals for 2019!
Every day I change the day of the week at the top, what I praise God for, what I'm thankful for and what I LOVE about myself.
I read my quote every day as often as I can, and hum my song of the week whenever I remember my mirror.
It has only been 2 weeks or so. But my mirror and purple sharpie have already made a difference in my day.
I guess in a sense, I've turned my mirror into my vision board...a vision board I can't avoid, and a vision board that soothes my soul. I challenge you to get your favourite colour marker and write whatever it is you need to uplift YOU throughout your day and week. There are no rules! Be creative, be bold, be unique, be grateful, love yourself!
Look into your mirror with pride and confidence and embrace what you see, and read <3
With So Much Love,